Why I Recommend Gaming with Kids (Even If You’re Bad at It!)
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The “Non-Gamer” Confession
I’ve never considered myself a ‘gamer,’ but gaming with kids has changed my perspective on how we connect. Sure, I dabbled here and there, but I was never any good, and they never really sucked me in. Well, except for Zelda: Breath of the Wild, but that’s a story for another time!
When my oldest wanted to play games, Minecraft, specifically, I found myself logging on. At first, it was out of necessity: he was young and needed guidance. I fumbled my way through unfamiliar worlds, confusing inventory lists, and YouTube tutorials just to help him build a redstone contraption, a minecart roller coaster, or the house of his dreams.
Joining Their World for 2 Minutes
As he got older, I joined him in Fortnite duos, despite my terrible aim and general aversion to shooter games. What struck me most was realizing that he’d rather risk losing a round just to play with me than go it alone.
This is the ultimate “Transition Hack”: Instead of yelling “5 minutes until dinner!”, I’ve started sitting next to him and asking, “What level are you on?” Joining their world for just two minutes makes leaving it 10x easier.
Mining for Connection in the Tween Years
Now, as he edges into the moody tween years, I’m so grateful that door is still open. Even though he loves winning with his squad, he still lights up when we log into his realm to mine together or spruce up his village. It’s in these moments that we connect and talk about things he might otherwise hesitate to share.
Gaming with my son isn’t about skill. It’s about mindful parenting and showing up, even when I don’t fully understand his world.
3 Things to Notice While Gaming with Kids
Gaming provides a unique window into your child’s emotional world. Next time you pick up a controller, try to notice these three things:
- The ‘Flow State’: Notice when they are so focused they forget to breathe. Gently remind them to take a deep breath.
- Your Frustration: Use losing as a way to model losing with grace. (I get lots of practice with this one!)
- The Spark: Watch for the moment they light up when you show interest in their strategy.
The Final Score
He knows I’m not a “gamer,” and he definitely knows I’m not very good, but he also knows I love him enough to dive in anyway. Connection is the cheat code for building trust and lasting bonds.
Need help understanding the basics of the games your kids love? Or guidance on other media? Common Sense Media is a fantastic resource for parents navigating the gaming world.
For more on balancing digital time, check out my guide on intentional screen use.